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I have an idea that it is possible to forgive someone, and choose not to hang out with them again without it being a stressful choice.  It takes great strength to do forgiveness work.  Because sometimes we want to hang out with them again, we want to believe that they will change because we have forgiven.

“We don’t have to forgive the behavior, we only need to forgive the person.”

In other words, we do not condone the behavior. We do not let others walk all over us… We release the hardness in our own heart so that we can keep on unfolding our Spiritual Nature…

Maybe this list of what forgiveness is not, may be helpful:

· Forgiveness is not condoning unkindness

· Forgiveness is not forgetting that something painful happened.

(Remember the time Prince Harry wore a Nazi uniform fancy dress, it’s probably useful for him to remember that.)

· Forgiveness is not excusing poor behavior

· Forgiveness does not have to be an otherworldly or religious experience

· Forgiveness is not denying or minimizing your hurt

· Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with the offender

· Forgiveness does not mean you give up having feelings.

What is forgiveness?

· It is a state of freedom (Think of an Unchained Heart)

· It is relieving yourself of the burden of the past

· It is embracing the prospect of being a whole person again

· It is giving the person you forgive (even yourself) the freedom to live in peace and the chance to also be a whole person again.

An obstacle to doing forgiveness work, can be the desire for revenge…setting it right or the hope that at least you be getting remorse from them.  (Sometimes this is physically impossible when the person has passed on.  Or when the person being forgiven is you.   Or when the grudge being held is against the Creator.)   Revenge is not always possible

My suggestion…Forget revenge, getting even or payback.  It is something for which the bill is always more than we hoped to pay.


  1. Thank you for sharing this enlightenment....Not long ago, I was given an assignment ibn therapy to write a paper titled, "Forgiveness and Understanding" My perception was to now understand I could forgive myself and by so doing, I could learn to forgive those who perpetrated traumas upon me.

    Thank you, Michael Frank

  2. Another obstacle to complete forgiveness is the challenge of trusting yourself again. It comes down to how we have put ourselves in harm's way.(consciously or unconsciously) Another challenge is how to trust that a repeat of the situation is not necessary, that wisdom and divine guidance will prevail when confronted with similar circumstances. There must be a willingnes to release the fear caused by trauma; there must be the willingness to ask for help even if your request is rejected. Ultimately God will respond to one's request for help, It always says Yes. Forgiveness is not for the timid or the invested ego. It requires humility, a completely different perspective, and lots of self love. A relationship and commitment with God is a saving Grace. In your Prosperity Journal, the first entry is all about Trust. Trust completely in God. Amen.

  3. Some of my favorite quotes about forgiveness include:

    "Forgiveness does not mean that what someone did to you was OK; It means that you love yourself enough to let it go."

    "Resentment is ME taking poison and expecting YOU to die."



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